Wednesday 7th February looked pretty cold when I opened the curtains. The lawn that I had cut the day before was covered in frost and I could have been concerned about whether the grass would survive. I could have been, but I have to say I was more concerned about braving the cold all day on the back of the bike, but then we north Walians are made of strong stuff and, when you have given your word to Trevor that you will be there, it just has to be.

In spite of the fact that he regularly misinforms us as to how many hills there are left to climb.

Things just did not start well. When I was getting everything ready I noticed that I had a flat rear tyre. It was only flat at the bottom I noticed but these little things do tend to spoil the fun somewhat. Anyway off came the wheel, the tyre and tube and on went a new tube the tyre and the wheel. All in 10 minutes (notice that Colin – I can do it myself!!). You see when you have a puncture on a ride your bike tends to be pounced upon by half a dozen people who want to fix it, I let them get on with it because it obviously gives them great satisfaction and why should I spoil their fun. And I am very grateful.

That was perhaps an unwise thing to say – I have a feeling I shall be changing tubes myself in future.

Several layers of clothing, warm gloves and a rolled up balaclava under my helmet and I was off for The Railway Inn where I found Ron and John Cardy being befriended by a couple of girls who seemed very interested in their bikes. Age does that to you! When they found out that we were heading for Pontyberem we almost had a family tree laid out in front of us, eventually they disappeared in a white van driven by people in uniform.

We were to meet the others at the surgery in Gowerton, there wasn’t anything wrong with them it just happens to be a convenient place to meet and we don’t actually go in to the surgery you understand. Colin was there but he was not himself (everybody say “Ahhh” – well done everybody!). He was sucking on a Fisherman’s Friend but we won’t go into that, each to his own of course, just so long as it doesn’t become compulsory. The poor man had spent two days tucked up in bed wearing winceyette pyjamas, polka dot bed socks and a Wee Willy Winkie hat. He also had an ample supply of scotch close to hand too. Very sensible.

Now that we were all assembled John Cardy took the opportunity to hand out some disposable surgical gloves –“ Just in case”, he said.

In case of what? We wondered. Where did they come from and why did he have them?

On we went to Pontardulais where Kevin joined us then up the hill out of Hendy to Llannon. This hill is long with a great many false summits so it can be quite draining and demoralising at the same time. It really is a case of head down and keep working the pedals. We stopped at the top to regroup and enjoyed the warm sun.

We were 12 in all when we reached Caffi Cynnes in Pontyberem and there was barely any room for us but we managed. Ken Bowden told us of his experiences getting strafed by jets in mid Wales just because he was driving a white car. So let that be a lesson to all of you! John Cardy told us about a journey to the Millenium Stadium in a water taxi in Cardiff, him and 74 other rugby fans. He’s thinking of writing a book about his experience but can’t think of a title. He had thought of ‘Seventy Five Men in a Boat’ but feels that if he called it that he would have to write a book 25 times the size of Jerome K. Jerome’s ‘Three Men in a Boat’. He is far too busy anyway what with being regularly turfed out of opera houses and going to line dancing evenings.

We all noticed that Trevor managed to bag the last custard slice.

We made our way back down the Gwendraeth valley to Pembrey and this was when I began to realise that I had a problem (No comments please!) My bike had been steadily developing a clicking noise for the past month which I had put down to loose spokes but although I had had them tightened the noise kept coming back. It was now really sounding bad and I was getting concerned, people took turns to ride alongside me to try and pinpoint the source of the noise but no matter what logic we applied to the problem no firm answer could be agreed on.

I just wanted to get home.

By the time I got to the water park in Llanelli I had decided to abandon the ride, take the bike to the nearby cycle shop and make the rest of the journey on the bus, however the unanimous opinion of the assembled throng was that I would get home without difficulty and Colin even guaranteed that I would get as far as Pont y Cob Road and that if the bike did, in fact, terminate its life before then I could ride his bike home. I was therefore persuaded and on we went along the sea front and against a bitterly cold wind. At Penclacwydd John handed out the jelly babies to replenish our energy which was very good of him but I do wish he would stop biting their heads off in that way.

You will be pleased to know that I did get home safely and I have to say I am very grateful to everyone for the support – it doesn’t fit that well but I shall persevere.

I am writing this after having a day indoors keeping warm, living on soup and drinking plenty of hot drinks. I am wearing winceyette pyjamas, polka dot bed socks and a Wee Willy Winkie hat and am keeping an ample supply of scotch nearby. So you see Colin, if you wait long enough the cows do come home to roost and everybody eventually gets their just puddings. I’m sorry for all the things I have said about you.

Now please can I get better?

Next week it’s a ride to Pennard so can I suggest that you all consider this as a training ride for the following week when it is the Away Day from St Clears to Crymych (and back). Don’t miss next week and certainly don’t miss the week after!

See you there!

Lew Spokes