was a Wednesday night and I was back at school. Now I have to say
that during those years which should have been my formative years
I merely went through the motions of learning, somehow the goings
on behind the bike shed were much more interesting.
let us not expand on such things, because in the intervening years
I have somehow managed to become interested in many of life's wonders
and mysteries. Regional accents fascinate me, although there are
some that I find immensely irritating. We tend to think of accents
in large, general terms as in the different accent between north
and south Wales. But it goes much deeper than that, there are differences
within these large areas, many differences in fact. Swansea is different
from Port Talbot and Neath is different again - and so it goes on.
These differences are not always apparent to an outsider for some
where was I? Oh yes, I was back at school and it was a 'free thinking
lesson' - we were free to study and consider whatever we wanted.
I had chosen, if you are unable to guess, regional accents, particularly
those of Yorkshire and Lancashire. Think of it as 'George Formby
meets Last of the Summer Wine'. I had put on my most effective thinking
cap and it has some strange magical powers, if I wear it my mind
completely relaxes leaving it free to process all kinds of complicated
theories until the culminating 'Eureka!' moment. The cap is believed
to be the very same one worn by that great thinker - Trevor Pythagoras.
own 'Eureka' moment was not long in coming and it was indeed brilliant.
So often the obvious answer is the one most difficult to see and
even you will kick yourselves when I tell you this -
accent is spoken in a backward sloping italic while the Lancashire
accent is spoken with a forward sloping italic.
And isn't it
I wrote copious
notes and took them to the teacher, I was very excited and bursting
to tell him but unfortunately he was testing a lunch with the domestic
science teacher so all I got was -
you don't mind Evans, go away and come back later."
went back to the class and, on entering, gave the usual greeting
"Good morning, girls." The girls giggled, the boys glared.
I sit at the back and added a bit of polish to my theory before
heading back to see the teacher. On the way someone hands me a pile
of leaflets and a yellow jersey.
he said "get these out! And if you can stick this broom handle
somewhere you can sweep the floor while you're at it!"
was chucking down with rain and the jersey was soaked. I am in a
must get it dry, I must see my teacher.
can't do everything.
was such a vivid dream and, unusually, I remembered the detail so
I wrote down notes to remind me. Have you ever tried to grab the
memory of a dream before it slips away? You desperately try to cling
to whatever you remember while even that slips from your grasp.
A brilliant welsh lyricist once described it as two walls covered
in slime and very close together, the dream is a tangible object
and it is slipping down between these walls away from your grasp
never to be recalled.
say that dreams are caused by your mind tidily putting things away
overnight so what was it that prompted this one?
can't honestly say why Yorkshire and Lancashire cropped up and certainly
I have no longing to go back to school. The girls, well yes, shouldn't
they always be included in your dreams! All this was probably just
a background for the stuff that can be explained.