week or so ago I woke up feeling quite unwell and I won’t
go into too much detail of how I felt at the time but the whole
episode ended with excruciating pain in my lower left hand side.
It was all so bad that I thought a visit to the doctor would be
wise, however when the time arrived that I could phone for an appointment
everything was fine. It seemed silly to make a fuss, perhaps it
was something I ate.
The day continued
on its usual merry journey without any recurrence and it passed
out of my mind. The following morning however, at about the same
time the exact same thing happened again – this time I made
that appointment. The doctor prodded and poked and diagnosed a kidney
stone – I’d heard about people going to hospital with
one of those so I was very pleased when she just gave me a prescription
with orders to take two tablets each day for the next three days
and to make sure I finished the course. I was happy to comply, anything
to avoid going into hospital, I just don’t have time for that
sort of thing!
I collected the tablets
and headed for home, pressed the first out of its foil and swallowed
it leaving a note in a prominent position to remind me of the remaining
five. I sat down to read the paper blissfully ignorant of what was
to come. Well, it came with a vengeance! I felt ill again, the pain
was back and if the first two attacks could be described as excruciating
then this time it was off the scale!
However that was it!
No further problem but I took the other five tablets when they were
due – just in case.
Later in the
week I went to see my parents-in-law and related the story. That
started the jungle drums and a few days later I had to phone my
sister-in-law, Shirley to see when I could call over to take them
their Christmas presents. The following exchange took place.
“Oh, hello Rob,
how are you, I hear you haven’t been very well.”
“Oh that kidney
stone? Yes that wasn’t very nice at all but it seems to be
has it now?” asked Shirley
I suppose so.” I said
hear it?” she asked
know” I said “when do you mean/”
said delicately “you should aim for the porcelain and then
you should be able to hear the clang!”
I hadn’t thought
of that at the time and it seems quite sensible advice, I shall
remember for the next occasion. After all that would be an amusing
way for it to say goodbye!
Then I thought back to
the box containing the tablets and realised that the manufacturers
were missing out on a good slogan to back up their wonder pills.
your kidney stone with a bang
Turn your tinkle into a clang!
I must search through
the bin now to find that packet so I can write to the manufacturer
and present them with this winning verse, I’m sure they will
do well out of it. Who knows they might send me a lifetime’s
supply free of charge!
Merry Christmas to you