What to do when you're ill

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What to do when you're ill

I feel ill, dreadfully ill.

I feel cold and shivery, all my bones ache and I feel tired, absolutely dog-tired. I could go to bed and have a lie down but I've tried that and I just keep coughing. Its just so boring and I don't have a book to read, Saturday's paper has long since been read and I'm bored (oh dear I'm now repeating myself!) Its 3.00 in the afternoon and I have felt like this all day and normally I am not one to complain, really I'm not so its really hard to say all this.

I suppose the only bright spot on the horizon is that I can justifiably do all the testing and researching that I normally do on these occasions.

Is hot whisky best taken with honey?	Definitely not
Does hot whisky make any difference?	Not sure yet - I must keep trying
Which whisky works the best, Scotch, Irish or Welsh?	Well... I seem to be fixated on the Welsh but I am suspicious that I may be a bit biased. So must keep trying.
How does the Japanese whisky perform?	Well in spite of the fact that it tastes distinctly medicinal its not doing any good at all
Am I still capable of making subtle distinctions?	Perhaps not, I had better continue all this tomorrow.

Well my illness is no better and I seem to have mislaid my inhibitions, hang on a second I may have left them in the bedroom .......... no, not there. However while I was there I uttered the words 'Damn and blast' and it didn't sound like me at all, my smooth, mellow voice has disappeared and what I have instead is a rather deep Lee Marvin type voice.

Just listen to this!

I was born under a wandrin' star
I was born under a wandrin' star
Wheels are made for rolling, mules are made to pack
I've never seen a sight that didn't look better looking back
I was born under a wandrin' star

Life can make you prisoner and the plains can bake you dry
Snow can burn your eyes, but only people make you cry
Home is made for coming from, for dreams of going to
Which with any luck will never come true
I was born under a wandrin' star
I was born under a wandrin' star

Do I know where hell is, hell is in hello
Heaven is goodbye forever, its time for me to go
I was born under a wandrin' star
A wandrin' wandrin' star

(Life can make you prisoner and the plains can bake you dry)
(Snow can burn your eyes, but only people make you cry)
(Home is made for coming from, for dreams of going to)
(Which with any luck will never come true)
(I was born under a wandrin' star)
(I was born under a wandrin' star)

When I get to heaven, tie me to a tree
For I'll begin to roam and soon you'll know where I will be
I was born under a wandrin' star
A wandrin' wandrin' star

Did you like that? I'd sing it again for you but I had a brief fit of coughing towards the end and my glass is empty.