It seems that a report by the UN Food and Agriculture Organisation sees advantages in us consuming insects. I'm sure all of us have inadvertantly done so a few times in our lives but I hardly think that we looked back on the event as a gastronomic experience. A tired cyclist could easily boost his, or her, protein consumption at each yawn. Take note all vegetarian cyclists and always wear a mask!

Western Scotland could do very well out of this by harvesting the endless supply of midges during the summer months. Slabs of high protein midge cakes could very well be the 'must have' element in every hiker's rucksack. The Scottish equivalent of Kendal Mint Cake.

The report says that wasps, beetles and catepillars are underused as food for people and livestock. Insects have high protein, fat and mineral content and are extremely efficient at converting food into edible meat. Crickets need 12 times less feed than cows to produce the same amount of protein and produce fewer emissions. Ooops, pardon me!

Insects are everywhere and reproduce quickly, the report tells us. That is a blatant case of 'Wham bam, thank you Ma'am' and should serve to remove any sympathy we have for them, after all, why should they have all the fun!

In blind tastings nine out of ten people preferred meatballs made from roughly half meat and half mealworms to those made entirely of meat so, if a waiter ever offers you a blindfold before setting your plate in front of you then just do your best to wriggle out of the situation.

Well, lets face it perhaps we ought not to be squeamish. It's not good to have pre-conceived ideas and the weekly shop does not get any cheaper. We can be confident that the Government will come up with standards that have to be adhered to, after all we don't want our insectburgers to be contaminated with horseflies!

Bon apetit!